Maybe

Please find the first part here.Always

Maya couldn’t concentrate on reading. She was bored, bored of one activity which defined her. Various thoughts revolved like a cyclone inside her mind and she couldn’t focus on one. She grabbed a paper of unimportance from the pile on her table, placed it between the pages where Mr. Biswas had just hired someone to get his house built, turned off the table lamp and went to the kitchen.

She brew a coffee for herself. It was 11 p.m. by the clock, a cup of coffee at this point of day wasn’t a good idea unless one didn’t wanted to sleep. And that was what she exactly wanted. To not to sleep. The idea of having to close her eyes and immersing everything around her into darkness frightened her. She couldn’t let her subconscious take control of her. Caffeine intake helped her maintain reign over herself.

“Why can’t there be enough sugar in this house” she uttered these words loud enough to be hearable in the bedroom. “Never mind, I think I like my coffee this way too” she tried to comfort herself.

It was a cold winter night which though made her uncomfortable while standing in the balcony, didn’t made her miss out the dark night that she adored. Dark night with stars sprinkled around its fabric with no consideration to their homogeneity, but apparent mystic importance to them forming patterns here and there. Dark night with one big piece on the fabric outshining others and changing shape night by night. Ironically she could never confront the darkness that prevailed inside her but in some way she cherished the darkness that engulfed her. Maybe because she could keep her eyes open and be in control of herself, or maybe because she could find some resemblance in this darkness. The stars reflected the infinite thoughts strewed in her mind, the darkness the obscurity she felt, the moon resembled that one thought which she could manage to increase focus on, which then waned with time. Maybe because it was her attempt to elicit a clue from this darkness to resolve her internal storm.

Abhi had had a stressed day at work. “Why is it always has to be a coffee place, the people around here seem so intellectual. Look, that girl can’t keep her eyes off the laptop, and that gentleman over there can burn a hole into the newspaper anytime. When I’ll be over with everything, every single thing, I will get into my best suit, head to the bank, take out all my money, put it in a bag, throw that bag into the trunk of my car and get the car to some place distant. And of course you will be with me”. Abhi couldn’t hold his anger and blurted out these words fluently as if he had them written somewhere inside his mind. “What would you want to do if you were free from everything Maya?” She couldn’t think of anything.

Maybe having sleepless nights and getting to stare the night sky was what she always wanted. Maybe getting to recognize patterns among stars was what she wanted. Maybe to find him in the vastness was what she wanted. Maybe she wanted them to be together. Always.

Charlie, Job Satisfaction & Life

Charlie ko ab apni job achi nhi lagti hai. Wo utsukta nhi bachi hai jeevan me. Chod dena chahta hai wo ye sab. Roj roj ka rona dhona ab use nhi bhaata. Uska bas chalta to kal hi parcha fenk deta. Wese to use ab job culture hi raas nhi aata. Sochta hai "kya hi rkha hai isme, kitna bhi kama lunga lekin gaadi aur ghar to EMI pe hi lena padega".

Charlie ko ab ghar jaane me bhi dar lagne laga hai, family functions me appearance dene se to usne saaf mana kar diya hai. Pichli baar jab apne mama ke ladke ki shaadi me gaya tha to uske papa ne kai bujurg logo se milvaya tha use. Sab ko apni work details, bio-data ityadi batate huye usko kuch gadbad hone ka ehsaas ho gya tha.

Gharwalon ko ye samjhana ki abi bhi uske jeevan ke 3-4 saal bache hain Parle-G biscuit ko rebrand karne jaisa mushkil hai. Kuch soch kabhi nhi badli ja sakti. Isliye hamare desh me jab ladka/ladki  apne 25 saavan dekh chuka hota/hoti hai ya use ye feel aane lagti hai ki uske ghar wale use settled samajhne lage hain to uske paas do se teen option hath me reh jaate hain. Charlie ne bhi inke baare me sochna shuru kar diya hai.

Pehla....IAS/IES...in exams ki khasiyat hoti hai ki inki pehle level ki screening exam dene se pehle hi ho jaati hai. Pattern or previous year papers dekh kar hi Charlie ko apne potential aur required efforts me mismatch dikh gaya.

Doosra...GRE/GMAT..in exams ki pehle level ki screening bhi kharcha pata karne pe ho jati hai. Yahan Charlie ko financial terms me deficit dikhayi diya.

Teesra...CAT..ye option hamesha se safe hota aaya hai. Isliye Charlie isko 4th year se leke betha hai. Aaj bhi umeed ne dam nhi toda hai.

Itna sab sochne ke baad bhi Charlie ko kal fir se office jana padega, manipulated data ke sath reports banani padegi, code likhna padega, wo sab kaam karna padega jo uska boss uski taraf fenkega.

Lekin...ek din aayega....

(Note: Charlie ek kalpnik patra hai.. lekin iska vastvik jeevan se samabandh intended hai)

Always

She was dressed in the turquoise outfit. It didn't reflect her self, but his choice for the occasion. Actually, a present. A present he brought for her when they last met at the dockyard. 6 or 7 months ago, she thought. He had taken her to the ship, to show her his workplace.

For last few years they had this kind of relationship, meeting for a few hours after long periods of time. He was always to leave for duty. She, always upset for the same reason.

But today they had all the time they wanted. He was off duty, she had taken a long leave.

She got into the garage and was about to get into the driver's seat when she thought of giving it a routine check. Unlike herself, like him. She didn't wanted to be late anyway. "First, check under the hood. Are there any leaks? Are the battery terminals clean? Does the drive belt looks worn out? Pull the engine oil dipstick out, wipe it with a clean rag or a paper towel and insert it back fully. Pull it out again and check the level - it should be close to the "FULL  mark on the dipstick." He always took interest in letting her know these things. "There's always a telltale sign" He always emphasized. " Oh, they run great" She used to reply.

Everything was OK. She halted at the newspaper stand, asked for the day's issue of local daily. It were always the small things in life that made him happy. A few good articles with the morning coffee. Anyway, today was big. He had an article published on him . She had a glance at the picture with the article, payed the person, then took to the wheels again.

It was his birthday today. Valiant Captain's 35th birthday. They met at the God's acre, behind the city church. She sat beside the tombstone and read him the news. "It's a day for the youth to take inspiration from Captain Abhi who departed while serving for the country....."  He was as stoic as he always was, she pretended to be as vivacious he always wanted her to be. They had all the time they wanted today together. Not the kind of they had always...

Dabba

Ghar ke ek kone me aaj bhi rakha hai wo. wahi jo un dino ijjat se desktop ya pc ya computer kehlaya jaata tha, lekin jise aaj hum dabba kehte hain. un dino jab kisi k ghar pc aata tha to sab pehle puchte the '' assembled ha ya company ka hai compaq wompaq''...haha..'' assembled hai 256 MB RAM, 40 GB harddisk, pentium 4, 1.3 GHz processor'' aur haan '' wo mujhe gaming ka shok hai na to mene graphics card bhi lagwaya hai''...mere phone k specs isse jyada hain aaj..

aaj ye pic dekhi to yaad aa gyi dabbe ki..

Kamre me wo kis jagah, kis orientation me rkha jayega ye decide karta hai ki aapke room me darwaja kis taraf hai, kyunki rakha use darwaje k exact saamne jana chaiye, aisa ghar walon ka maan na hota tha, kyunki aap to dabbe pe kuch bhi kar sakte ho. kyunki wo to padhai support karne k liye laaya gya h na...us pe to aapne C k programs banane hain..painting karni hai..typing tutor chalana hai...aapka exam ka result dekhna hai..padosi ka exam ka result dekhna hai...hehe...

History...jab ek din pata chala tha history bhi to delete kar sakte hain..aankhen khul gyi thi...fir to me kuch bhi kar sakta tha..tab shayad incognito mode nhi aaya karta tha.. wo to wo din the jab jet audio and winamp aaya karte the...windows media player me visualisation chalana cool maana jata tha...antivirus me Mcafee hua krta tha...games me Roadrash, Alladin, Dave hote the..doston se saaman CD me liya jaata tha...floppy disk to tab bhi outdated ho gyi thi

Fir thoda time beeta to pata chal duniya me roadrash, Vcop2 se uth kar bhi game hote hain...NFS tab bhi aaya karta tha...NFS 2..bhokal game hua karta tha wo...wo excitement jo hoti thi, school ke baad dost se CD leke aane ki, apne dabbe me shiddat se game install karne ki, pehli baar chala kar check karne ki kahin atak to nhi rha...that used to be priceless...tab pata nhi kyu ek baar me game install hote bhi nhi the, aur atakte bhi bhot the,  jis dost ne CD di hoti thi use gaali jarur padti thi.

Fir ek ke baad ek game aate gye mission wale, racing wale, strategy wale...GTA vice city, GTA san andreas, IGI, IGI 2..jab tak missions hote jaate the din achche beet te the...magar kai baar game progress atak jaaya karti thi...dukh ka sabab ban jaata tha wo...tab to itna fast net tha nhi ki youtube pe dekh liya ki kaise mission paar karna hai...dosto se puchna padta tha, ki pehle kis ko maarna hai fir konsi bandook leni hai...haha cheat codes bhi hua karte the...PANZER, FANNYMAGNET, NUTTERTOOLS, ASPIRINE

Tab tak hum wese bhi itne nalayak ho chuke the ki ab farak nhi padta tha ki dabba darwaje ke saamne rakha hai ya duniyabhar ke saamne...

RAM badhwa li hai aaj uski...bhot jarurat thi usko...magar OS to abi bhi XP hi chal sakta hai...

kaafi yaadein de di dabbe ne..

Pata Nhi Kab Bade Ho Gye

abi kal hi to, yaad hai mujhe....pehli baar daant khaayi thi badi didi ki chote number me se bade ko ghata dene k liye...haha...ha fir uske samjhane pe haan haan bhi kar di thi...lekin samajh nhi aayi thi....baad me fir ghata diya tha...haha....fir uske baad to ghataya bhi, badhaya bhi, derive bhi kiya, integrate bhi kiya, area bhi nikala, volume bhi nikala....fir package me se in hand bhi nikala....tax se bachne k liye bhi calculation ki....bhot calculate kar gye tab se....pata nhi kab bade ho gye

pata nhi ye hum kab bade ho gye....abi kal ki hi to baat hai jab pehli baar mummy k sath hindi k aksharon ko jod k padhna seekha tha, fir to bas champak, chacha chaudhary, maano ek nayi duniya  ujagar ho gyi thi...fir tabse hum padhe hi ja rhe hain....pehli, dusri, teesri, .....paanchvi.....dasvi....college...shayad aage bhi...ruke hi nahi...pata nhi kab badhe ho gye

abi kal hi to, wo choti cycle side wheels wali, chalaya karte tha...fir ek din papa ne side wheels hata diye the aur bola tha ''mene pakda hua hai peeche se'', magar unhone kab choda aur mene kab balance banana seekh liya tha pata nhi chala tha....tab se balance banate aa rhe hain....kabhi papa k bheje huye paise aur mahine ke kharche me....kabhi naukri karne me aur ghar jaane me....kabhi mobile me....kabhi bank me...pata nhi kab bade ho gye...

abi kal hi to pehla dost banaya tha, kal hi to doston ko ghar pe bula k birthday manaya tha...tab se aajtak to najane doaton k sath kya kya aur kesi kesi cheeze seekhi.....bday me party dene se party lene lag gye....gift dene k bajay unki lene lag gye...hum pata nhi kab bade ho gye

najane kyu bade go gye...

An Epic Pic

An epic pic, in every domain: the background, the place, the ensemble, the shades. But, with a minor detail. The person in the AC-DC t-shirt had to stand sideways before the camera.

I was just skimming through old photographs, then I found this, one picture that made me hold the process.

Well, it has been a year since that trip, so maybe it is cool now to talk about it…haha..

The Goa trip

It was supposed to be a fun trip after the placements, everyone was excited until the fateful day. So, the first 2 days went good. Beaches….sand….salty water….foreigners….beaches…bikes….sun….humidity…beaches….beaches….beaches….long stretches of bike rides….beaches…

For few days we forgot we were in India. I mean the number of bars, pubs and other alcohol related businesses there, they were too many…..everywhere….everybody was on vacation there. Everybody was there to live for few days.

In between these things somehow I managed to squeeze in a bike accident on the third day. ( in case someone doesn't gets it still, that is the reason I am standing sideways). The day we had planned water sports. Anyway that accident brought in a new thrill into the whole trip…haha…, although rendering me and the pillion one to spend rest 2 days in bed at hotel in Goa L. Actually it was his fault, balance bigaad diya puri bike ka mote ne. But still, to this day I don’t know and have never willed to know how they managed to convince the bike owner whose bike I scribbled on the road that day. The level of stress they faced that day was enormous. Yet somehow we made the trip work.

The trip gave me memories so hard, even today I carry them on my body, even on my face.

Diary of an exhausted working electrical engineer

In the first episode you read about my ordeal and frustration related to not getting placed “Diary of a frustrated electrical engineer” and in the second episode you empathized along with me on the topic of getting placed “Diary of an employed electrical engineer”. Kya karun......Nolan to nahi hun, but had to complete the trilogy anyway… This here is the last episode the concluding episode...The dark episode, the episode with the dark realities...nothing in this episode is a work of fiction.

8..it has been 8 full months for me playing the role of an electrical engineer. Yeah, playing the role, because each day I have to just pretend that I know what I should know as an electrical engineer, just like an actor does. Just like an actor each day I put up the uniform and be someone else. 

Well anyways, putting resentments aside...Hello again I am Charlie here, coping up with the employed life, still reminiscent about college life, trying to strike a balance between work and social life( no need to panic, still single, social life ends up with one phone call to my parents.)... 

Time badal gaya but me nhi badla

Me abhi bhi wahi Charlie hun jo abhi bhi har year badi ummeed ke sath bina padhe CAT ka exam deta hai, aur fir result kharab aane pe kehta hai "yaar padhai nhi ho paayi thi". Wahi Charlie jo aaj bhi har ek job portal pe apna CV upload karta hai, is ummeed me ki kahin se to call aayegi. Wahi Charlie jo LinkedIn pe doston ko keh kar apne aap ko endorse karwata hai is ummeed me ki shayad kisi recruiter ki najar uski profile pe padh jaaye. Wahi Charlie jo aaj bhi The Hindu apni vocab improve karne ke liye padhata hai. Wahi Charlie jo aaj bhi thesaurus ki help leke bhari bhari words apne blog me jabardasti daalta hai.

To be honest socha to tha ki job me aish karenge, will get to learn new things, corporate culture me jiyenge,   salary aaya karegi....jam ke udayenge, but aisa kuch nhi hota...trust me after a point it's  just getting up, punching in, somehow managing to get through the day, punching out, get rest, getting up, punching in...

This employed life of mine brings about a thought in my mind:-

“Saala is liye itni laatein khayi thi mene us din”

Wo bhi kya din they …..”class chalega??..”…..”abbey chodd man nahi hai”

Aur ab “abbey Sunday hai kahin chalein?”…”yaar kaam hai office jana padega”

“Oye assignment kar liya”…”abbey chap denge raat me beth key nhi bhi hua to kaat lega jitney number katne hain usne”

Boss-“report ready??”..” yes sir, just needs some final touch, sir I have put my soul into this”

It would be enought to end this post with this picture and this question " kya yehi life hai??"